Description
This book is a deeply personal and emotional account from a mother about her experiences raising her transgender child, Onyx. The author describes Onyx as anxious but kind, smart, artistic, and passionate. She recounts Onyx’s struggles with anxiety from a young age, leading to them being prescribed Zoloft at 15 due to fears of self-harm. The author details the difficulties of navigating the world with a trans child, including the polarization surrounding gender identity and the abandonment by family and friends who couldn’t accept Onyx. She reflects on her own journey of understanding and acceptance, from initially hoping Onyx was “just gay” due to societal pressures, to fully embracing and fighting for her child’s identity. The narrative touches on several painful experiences: Onyx being bullied in school, self-harm at age eleven, and the mother’s feelings of guilt and inadequacy. She also highlights the challenges of dealing with unsupportive family members, particularly her mother and brothers, who express transphobic views and refuse to acknowledge Onyx’s chosen pronouns and identity. The author expresses her frustration and anger at their bigotry, recounting specific instances of their hurtful behavior and comments. Throughout the document, the author emphasizes her unconditional love for Onyx and her determination to protect them in a world that is often cruel and unaccepting of transgender individuals. She cites alarming statistics from the Trevor Project regarding suicide rates, anxiety, and depression among trans youth, attributing these issues to societal stigma and lack of support rather than inherent predisposition. The author also shares moments of pride in Onyx’s achievements, such as their artistic talents, academic success (co-valedictorian), and involvement in school clubs. She expresses the desire to celebrate Onyx openly but fears judgment and hate from others. The document concludes with the author’s strong belief in Onyx’s identity, based on Onyx’s own explanations, the visible joy when affirmed, and the support of medical professionals. She acknowledges the persistent pain and isolation she feels due to her family’s rejection but finds strength in her unwavering love for her child, ultimately choosing her own peace and Onyx’s well-being over family approval.
